Sunday, 17 May 2009

A Blissful Romance: Full of Compliments and Complements

Blissful relationships are a combination of loving expressions
and compatibility. If you are going to give your heart to
someone then they should, in turn, treat you with love and
respect; both in action and word. Of course, relationships are
also a matter of compatibility. A relationship is only promising
if your companion is loving and your personalities are well
matched. He must always be uplifting and constructive towards
you and together, you strengthen one another. In essence a
blissful romance is full of compliments and complements.

Compliments are a necessity in a healthy relationship. If the
relationship is not healthy then you will be unhappy. It is
human nature to need compliments. They are uplifting,
reassuring, gratifying — they make us feel good! At the very
least, the one person who should help you to feel all these
things is the one you share your heart with. He should be
someone who is considerate and thoughtful, not hurtful and
mindless. If he cannot be respectful and sensitive in words,
then he is likely to be inconsiderate in his actions too. The
lack of both would leave us feeling miserable and lonely. A
blissful relationship does not come from being unappreciated. It
comes from being treated with high regard. This is one dynamic
of a blissful relationship.

Another critical dynamic of a happy relationship is one that is
complementary. A complementary relationship relates to the
compatibility of your personalities. Two complementary
personalities balance one another. If a relationship is going to
be lasting, then you both need to strengthen one another's
strengths but also strengthen each other against your

To strengthen each other in your strengths means you should
share those characteristics that are the major role players in
your life: attributes that define who you are. Why are these
strengths? Anything that defines who you are is your life's
backbone and motivation. If qualities that define you are not
shared by your significant other, then who will be there to
support you in those strengths/qualities? You do not want to
clash in matters that are the cornerstone of who you are. Thus,
a complementary relationship is partly defined by the
strengthening of each other's strengths.

The other half of a complementary relationship is strengthening
each other against your weaknesses. No one is perfect. But, you
also do not share the same weaknesses. If so, the result is one
in which you both could succumb to the same pitfalls together. A
healthy relationship is not one in which you share the same
vulnerabilities or bad habits. Rather, it is having someone by
your side, and he vice versa, that is supportive, encouraging,
and helpful in overcoming those weaknesses. Ideally, someone who
is able to provide such support is one who counteracts any such
weakness because that is their strength.

Think of a complementary relationship in this way… compare a
relationship to a team, group, or partnership that is
successful. It begins with a strong base — each member of the
successful partnership excels at what they individually do. But
what also contributes to their success is that each member also
excels at what the other(s) do not. What each member brings to
the table is their individual strength both to complete it and
support it. If all the members only shared the same strengths,
there would still leave vulnerabilities. On the other hand, if
they only shared the same vulnerabilities then where would the
strengths stem from?

Strong romantic relationships are structured in the same
manner. Your strong base begins with sharing your strengths (the
critical aspects of your character) completed by bringing to the
relationship what the other lacks (minor, less critical traits
of one's character) that are not defining. This is what
constitutes a complementary relationship.

Remember, your blissful romance includes two major components;
expressions of love and the compatibility of your personalities.
One without the other would leave the relationship void of a
critical piece. Bliss is created through feeling loved and
appreciated, complete and strengthened. It is a matter of both
external expressions and fulfillment within. A blissful romance
is full of compliments and complements.

About The Author: Kim Wiederholt is the author of "Dating a
Liar, a Cheater, and a Jerk." To learn more about Kim, her work,
or to join her email list, visit To view
her blog, visit